417: Husband and Strife

Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) chat about the age old trope in lesbian films of the “cheating lesbian” who cheats on her husband when she falls for a woman.

The list of the times that we see this trope on tv and in films is honestly so long we can’t even mention them all. We talk about the ties with this trope to compulsory heterosexuality and the patriarchy. No matter how this trope is done, even when done in a movie that ends happily like Imagine Me and You, it’s still problematic because it centralizes a male storyline and makes the queer women into cheaters and home-wreckers.

There is also a tie-in to the trope of the “predatory lesbian” who turns the straight girl and takes her away from whatever man she’s with at the time. This is a problem for so many reasons, in particular for being bad representation for young queer women who are first exploring their sexualities and are being presented with this ideal fantasy where crushing on a straight girl actually works out. It feels like such a lazy way to handle the story, because there are always options outside of cheating. The trope shows being gay as something that needs to be hidden and done privately.

These movies perpetuate not only the predatory lesbian trope, but also the trope of the cheating bisexual. We talk about The Kids are Alright and how horrible it was for reinforcing these stereotypes and showing baby gays truly problematic representation. We hardly ever see healthy gay relationships modeled for us in our media and all of this toxic representation has a negative effect on young queer people who are looking to find themselves and understand their sexualities.

Follow along on Twitter: Lez Hang Out (@lezhangoutpod) and answer our Q & Gay at the end of every episode. Leigh Holmes Foster (@lshfoster) and Ellie Brigida (@elliebrigida). You can also join us on Facebook.com/lezhangoutpod and follow along on Instagram (@lezhangoutpod).