810: Urge to Merge

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Welcome back to Lez Hang Out, the podcast that wants to make two become one. 

This week, Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) kick off the new year by talking about the societally normalized weaponization of the “urge to merge” in a relationship and how, as usual, the problem is because of straight culture and cishet men. For the record, it is our belief that it is not codependent to actually like and want to be around your significant other(s)! That’s kind of the point of being in a relationship in the first place. 

Is it really ‘U-Hauling' just because you want to spend all your free time with your partner? Are you really ‘whipped’ for being considerate of your girlfriend’s emotional and physical wellbeing? We really don’t think so and while the jokes may be amusing on occasion, the overarching culture is damaging for women, especially queer women.  

The old “ball and chain” concept has been a staple of mainstream culture for longer than we’ve been alive. Think about the straight couples that you know. Have they merged their friends or do they hang out in mostly gendered groups doing separate things? We really think this comes down to straight men seeming to not really like women or spending time with them (outside of the bedroom). This negative attitude toward spending time together spilled over from the mainstream culture into lesbian relationships and we can’t help but wonder how much of that cultural spill links back to popular queer media like The L Word.

Remember, you can give us your own answers to our Q & Gay on Instagram and follow along on Facebook, TikTok, and BlueSky @lezhangoutpod. 

Find your fav tol and smol hosts Ellie & Leigh at @elliebrigida and @lshfoster respectively.