806: My Self is Serving with Elle Deran

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Welcome back to Lez Hang Out, the podcast that is excited to have you at our group therapy session.

This week Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out with Elle Deran (@elle.deran), a trans and nonbinary actor, advocate, and content creator, and talk about the beauty and joy of embracing self-actualization and doing the work to live authentically. 

After coming out as trans and nonbinary exactly 1 week before the start of the pandemic, Elle had the time to cocoon in their apartment and really take the time to uncover her identity. When they emerged and began to interact with the world again, Elle was disheartened to find that people were interacting with and responding to her very differently than they had been prior to presenting in a more gender-authentic way.

Social media provided a path to community and an opportunity for a sort of group catharsis about shared transphobic experiences. This access to a like-minded community acted as a haven for navigating the challenges that came with choosing to embrace authenticity in place of perpetual people-pleasing. 

While speaking with Elle, we talked about the reasons why being a “people-pleaser” is really doing a disservice to both yourself and everyone else.

Although this sent Ellie into a bit of an existential spiral, it was an important door into a deeper conversation about the value of authenticity, trusting your intuition, and listening to your body in order to figure out who you truly are.

We also discussed why it is actually so important for everyone, regardless of gender identity, to sit with and analyze their feelings about their own gender. This hit home for Leigh, who spent some time reflecting on the gender dysphoria she felt during her pregnancy as well as the recently realized gender euphoria she experienced through something as simple as choosing to stop shaving her legs. In the end, we realized that when you are able to feel joy in being your 100% authentic self, it is easier to feel that same joy when you see others being true to themselves too. 

Elle has created a 5-part video workshop, “The Heart of Allyship: A Self-Reflective Approach to Trans and Nonbinary Support”. If you are interested in diving deeper into the concept of gender on a whole, reflecting on your own gender, and learning more about trans and nonbinary communities, you can access the complete workshop for a one-time fee of $49.99. 

You can support Lez Hang Out while unlocking a bunch of exclusive perks including access to our Discord channel, 23 and counting full-length bonus episodes, weekly ad-free episodes, and more by joining us on Patreon. You can also support the podcast by buying our original merch at bit.ly/lezmerch (use code lhospooky for 20% off your purchase through November 1st!) and purchasing our original Lez-ssentials songs for as little as $1 each on Bandcamp.

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You can find your fav tol and smol hosts Ellie & Leigh at @elliebrigida and @lshfoster respectively.